Chinese version

大家好？今天消息不达好。收到一封很失望的信。我说实在的。我以前做过不少犯法的事情。我不得意的。就是实在的情况而已。希望未来有本人成功的可能性。有没有人会给我工作？ 现在很不愉快。希望未来比较好 。再见。

January 4th or 5th I'm not sure

Today, I'm afraid that things are not going too well in my job search. I want to say at the outset that I'm far from giving up but things are not looking very good. I recieved a letter from the U.S. department of Census 2010 where I hoped to gain employment and they sent me a very discouraging letter. I really don't want to go into the details but I'm sure you can guess. Let me be frank in case I have not made it clear in the past. I have a minor criminal record. What it lacks in seriousness it makes up for in quantity. I have no felonies however if you look up my record you will find an abundance of vagrancy related misdemeanors. It gives the impression that for the last 12 years I was an iresponsible and delinquent citizen. I don't like talking about this because it is embarrassing and I don't think it helps my job search. When I lived on the streets I was addicted to Heroin and I had a lifestyle that was designed to accomodate that fact. That was over a year ago and I am trying to distance myself from that way of life and assimilate the mainstream. Let me give you an idea of what I'm talking about. My friend and sponsor in my substance recovery is Kip Kreiling who has written the successful book entittled "Impostor". It tells the true story of his life as a young criminal who at one point carried a gun and sold drugs. He tells the story of how he was escorted from his elementary school by a police officer. He later turned his life around and presents a very entertaining series of anecdotes documenting how he transformed his life from one of crime and disfunction, to becoming a successfull captain of industry and expert in corporate efficiency. It is a great book that I would highly recomend. It is inspiring because it reminds us that human beings can transform themselves and rise above their circumstances. His memoirs are immediately recognizeable to anyone who has traveled those dark roads of drug abuse. He talks of having made it to a respectable position and is regarded as an expert in transformation both personal and corporate. His book contains many examples of lessons he learned from the mean streets of his youth that can be applied to the world of successful business transformations. This is a very enjoyable book that has had a profound influence on my rehabilitation. I hope to someday write something similar to his book. My only problem is that I still haven't made a success out of my life. I suppose if you compare my current situation to what I was living 15 months ago it would be a big difference. I am hoping to someday be able to say; "look, I used to sleep behind a dumpster and now I am........., " You see the problem. I don't have an ending. Today, that successful ending looks far away. Maybe I am fooling myself in thinking that it is that easy to achieve. I'm not particularly optimistic about my prospects at this time. I wonder if I will even be able to get a job. Am I wasting my time going back to school studying accounting? Will anyone let me be a CPA? Maybe I will have to be an entrepreneur. Maybe no one will hire me. That seems extreme but I thought that this census job would be something where they wouldn't care about my background as much. After all it was advertised at the substance abuse treatment center where I go for counseling. I assume that they would advertise there knowing they would attract many people who have a history of drug abuse and problems with the law. Well today I am depressed. I hope to have better news on my next post.